I've started exercising again and it sux

New Balance kicks. Deodorant. Tri-weekly showering (impressive!). Long-expired Albuterol, inevitably followed by faint wheezing.

Not a self portrait.

The apartment complex I just moved into has a gym in the basement. The building has a rich history: first it was a women's hospital in the 1900s, then a derelict inhabited by only the loneliest vagrants, and now, finally, a newly remodeled apartment complex.

Because I don't understand social norms and revel in ~quirk~, when I was looking at the apartment with my soon-to-be-roommate I asked the apartment tour people (what are their job titles? idk. Hereafter: A.T.P.) about the layout—specifically, where the morgue was located, so I could pay my respects and review the location for my future Goth Scouts meetings. The A.T.P. told me that the morgue had been filled with concrete, effectively sealing away the sordid memories of death in the basement walls. 

But I don't believe that. Not for a millisecond. For one, concrete is expensive (probably), labor even more so. Also, why would they care? Do good, Christian landlord even believe in ghosts (apart from the Holy)(if they're trinitarians)?

Anyway. The point of this is that I believe the A.T.P. and their associates/predecessors are lying about filling in the morgue—I think they instead transformed the space into a furnished fitness center. It just makes gosh darn sense. Here's why:

1. The first weekend at the apartment, my roommate—alone—ventured into the basement, exploring her (our) new home. While walking under the fluorescent lighting, hearing her footsteps echo around her in circles, she felt "weirded out" and wanted to "get the heck out of there." 
2. The fitness center doesn't have any windows, save for a thin glowing row on the back wall just beneath the ceiling. And I'm not stupid. I've seen X-Files, Law and Order: SVU, NCIS, CSI: Miami, the regular Law and Order, and even House. And guess what? None of the morgues on TV have windows. Checkmate, atheists.
3. When I exhale I can sometimes feel the crawling sensation of sticky fingertips pressing their way through my legs and onto my neck. A strangling sensation. And if there's anything in the world I'm familiar with, it's knowing when purgatorial souls are enacting revenge on living beings.
4. I've asked the other girls in Goth Scouts, and they really love the location. Granted, it's close to most of their homes, and there's a CVS just a block away, and there's free parking for visitors, but: they love the location because it makes them feel at peace with the Devil and His Disciples! And why else would they feel so close to Him, our Lord and Savior, if not for the eeriness of what once was a room for the dead, now a room for the living trying to stave off death?? 

The facts cannot be denied. Today and forevermore I shall pay my daily respects. The Dark Lord bless.