i was a terrible 13 year old

I became obsessed with the Internet at a young age. I used to frequent Sparklife, a forum/blog/website thing associated with Sparknotes. Basically, it's a place where students go to procrastinate but on a platform that seems kinda academic.

My brother was talking about how he wasn't even a real person until 10th grade, which reminded me of my own journey into legitimate personhood. I'd say I self-actualized at around the same time, and I was reminiscing about an article I got published on the Sparklife blog at around that age—you can find it if you try hard enough—when I actually found the old profile associated with the blog. And the comments I used to write. And my taste.

It was like my DeviantArt profile had magically sprung from the dead, reanimated to haunt me with my younger, stupider, horrible-r self.

"It can't have been that bad!" you might say. "You're so cool and funny and articulate now! You're dope!!!" Well, yes, made-up person, I am so dope now, but back then I was a loser. And I was utterly unaware of how lame I truly was.*

So here's some proof:

At the time I was in AP Biology. So like...yeah.

The boy described here eventually would become my first boyfriend, and I would replay this exact moment in my mind over and over again for months. Months.

There were 15 comments in total, but for some reason the website wouldn't allow access to them, even when I logged back in. I will try to find my way back, and if I am successful I will update this post with all the other comments. But, for now, we can settle for some screenshots from my Sparklife profile page:

I TRULY DO NOT REMEMBER LIKING TWILIGHT AS MUCH AS I APPARENTLY DID AND I AM EXTREMELY EMBARRASSED. Also wtf Mr. Woodcock

And here's the punchline:

who even was i.....kill me