i was a terrible 13 year old

I became obsessed with the Internet at a young age. I used to frequent Sparklife, a forum/blog/website thing associated with Sparknotes. Basically, it's a place where students go to procrastinate but on a platform that seems kinda academic.

My brother was talking about how he wasn't even a real person until 10th grade, which reminded me of my own journey into legitimate personhood. I'd say I self-actualized at around the same time, and I was reminiscing about an article I got published on the Sparklife blog at around that age—you can find it if you try hard enough—when I actually found the old profile associated with the blog. And the comments I used to write. And my taste.

It was like my DeviantArt profile had magically sprung from the dead, reanimated to haunt me with my younger, stupider, horrible-r self.

"It can't have been that bad!" you might say. "You're so cool and funny and articulate now! You're dope!!!" Well, yes, made-up person, I am so dope now, but back then I was a loser. And I was utterly unaware of how lame I truly was.*

So here's some proof:

At the time I was in AP Biology. So like...yeah.

The boy described here eventually would become my first boyfriend, and I would replay this exact moment in my mind over and over again for months. Months.

There were 15 comments in total, but for some reason the website wouldn't allow access to them, even when I logged back in. I will try to find my way back, and if I am successful I will update this post with all the other comments. But, for now, we can settle for some screenshots from my Sparklife profile page:

I TRULY DO NOT REMEMBER LIKING TWILIGHT AS MUCH AS I APPARENTLY DID AND I AM EXTREMELY EMBARRASSED. Also wtf Mr. Woodcock

And here's the punchline:

who even was i.....kill me

Ida (2013)

I like taking screenshots of movies. I love cinematography, and unlike photography, film doesn't really get a chance to feel as aesthetically permanent — that all these careful choices that cinematographers can't ever be fully appreciated, since films go through scenes so quickly. Which is why I like taking screenshots of pretty films.

I saw the film Ida about a month ago, and it was visually stunning — super unique with really cool compositions. I think the black and white, in addition to making the film feel more dated, also helped to enhance the compositional choices and the lighting of everything. It all seemed so dramatic and sculptural, especially with the drapery of their habits.

(Obviously, don't look at these/don't read the captions if you don't want spoilers!!)

The white of the snow was a really beautiful contrast to everything, and it set the mood and the tone and gosh I loved it.

Don't they look kind of insane?

The juxtaposition!! JUXTAPOSITION!!!

I love how at this point in the movie she just becomes another #relatableteen. Like, she likes this boy with messy brown hair because he's nice to her and plays in a band. I guess liking boys in bands is pretty much a timeless trope at this point.

I loved all the bizarre religious rituals in this film. The tenseness of it all. And the stoic camaraderie. Like a sorority...a really boring sorority.

I tried finding out more about this film after I watched it (as I do, monomaniacally, with most films I see), but there really wasn't much to read about. I did find out that they were having a hard time finding a girl to play Ida, but the casting director scouted Agata Trezebuchowska when she was hanging in a cafe. And she wasn't even an actress - she's a college student studying some cool, esoteric, liberal arts subjects in Poland. 

Apparently the director was skeptical because she just looked like an "ordinary hipster," but it all ended up working out brilliantly. I love how natural Ida was - it made the scenes where she got all dolled up for a date, like an average teenager, that much more special. And, of course, she's absolutely stunning.